


One last time

by excursus



Category: Unus Annus - Fandom, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, I made myself sad writing this but I think it's not too OOC and therefore am quite pleased with it, Light Angst, M/M, Other, btw guess who forgot to add the platonic relationship tag format (it was me unfortunately), does anyone know how to tag things on ao3 because I sure don't, eef cries, ethan slightly more so, it gets better in the end though I promise, mark and eef are also sad bois, mark is soft, this is a sort of scene study on unus and annus as their year ends, unus and annus are ready to go but are sad bois oh no
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2020-11-15
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:02:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27560446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/excursus/pseuds/excursus
Summary: In which the clock ticks down.Unus and Annus say goodbye for the last time. Mark and Ethan reflect on their year.
Relationships: Mark Fischbach & Ethan Nestor, Mark Fischbach/Ethan Nestor, Unus & Annus, Unus/Annus
Comments: 11
Kudos: 49





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Annus?"
> 
> "Yes?"
> 
> "I'll miss you."
> 
> Annus turns and looks over at his colleague- his partner- his best friend. Unus' eyes shine with tears, reflecting the light, pools of liquid stars threatening to spill over and flood the sky in gold.
> 
> Annus just smiles back, a watery, elated, terrified smile, white prickling at the edge of his vision- it won't be long now, he knows. They both know.

"Unus?"

A pause. Unus looks up. 

"Yeah?"

"Our time is almost up."

"We have an hour left. One hour and fifteen minutes left of our year."

"It's gone by so quickly- I swear, last time I checked our hourglass there was still a month left."

Unus tuts. "Our time's not over just yet, you baby. And besides, time is a curious thing, Annus. You never know."

"Do you think they'll miss us?"

"They will."

"I hope they remember us, Unus."

Another pause. The ticking of their timer seems to get increasingly louder. 

"Me too."

They sit in silence, watching as the black-and-white spiral uncoils on the TV screen and the seconds tick away.

"Annus?"

"Yes?"

"I'll miss you."

Annus turns and looks over at his colleague- his partner- his best friend. Unus' eyes shine with tears, reflecting the light, pools of liquid stars threatening to spill over and flood the sky in gold.

Annus just smiles back, a watery, elated, terrified smile, white prickling at the edge of his vision- it won't be long now, he knows. They both know.

"I'll miss you too."

Then, under the starry sky, Unus smiles too. His smile wavers suddenly, and he breaks into an uncontrollable grin as the tears roll in heavy drops down his cheeks. This time they're stars, brighter than the constellations over their heads, and under the clear, almost-winter autumn sky, Annus grabs Unus up into a hug. There are no more words. 

They don't need any more words. Annus doesn't know when precisely they'll meet again, maybe in a few years or a couple hundred thousand, or even if they ever will again. But what they both know, is that while they might yearn for more time, for scattered minutes misplaced somewhere along the road, they've had just enough time. In this contradictory, oxymoronic old-new kind-cruel world they're going to leave behind, they've had just enough time to discover who they are and what they mean to each other. 

They've got untapped potential and unfinished ideas, sure, but who won't? Nobody is prepared for death when it comes knocking at their door. But they've done so much and learnt so much, and that's enough insofar as they're concerned. 

Together, they watch as the last hour and minutes and seconds of their existence tick away. 

There are no more words. 

As the minutes become seconds, Unus feels the sudden warmth of Annus' hand intertwined with his. He looks up at his colleague-partner-bestfriend and sees all the light of the moon and stars and sun beaming back at him. Annus' smile radiates fondness and his face is wet with tears. 

They share one last look. Unus sees a whole year of emotion in Annus' expression, sadness and joy and anger and fear and hope and oh, oh- acceptance. Acceptance of the year of memories they're leaving behind, acceptance of the unrelenting trickle of sand in their nearly-full hourglass, acceptance of the times to come, of the looming unknown. 

A- a goodbye. 

Unus finds a goodbye in Annus' eyes. 

Just as the timer strikes zero and the black floating at the edges of Unus' vision closes in to swallow his sight, Unus leans in and leaves a quick kiss at the corner of Annus' mouth. He revels in the flash of surprise then pure affection he sees in his best friend's eyes. He's sure Annus will know what he means, will have enough time to process what he means even as the void eats away at their shared consciousness:

Goodbye, Unus thinks, or rather calls out with his singing heart, as his vision bleeds out and he's suddenly aware of himself sinking, sinking, the tingle of Annus' warmth slowly fading from his fingertips. 

He means goodbye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hoo boiiii unus annus was a heck of a ride from start to finish, but as the mythbusters narrator says, all good things must come to an end. It's been a hell of a year, guys, and I'm honoured to have been fortunate enough to experience this with everyone in the fandom.
> 
> thanks for reading this! If you're like me and are trying to binge unus annus fics to soothe the emotional whiplash from the goodbye stream, then this might not be the best place for you to linger because I'm going to proceed to ramble about things that may or may not cause further emotional responses.
> 
> anyways here we go :)
> 
> I actually had a couple of title ideas for this (most of them are from Hamilton because the themes of UA and Hamilton sort of match up in a weird way, not entirely but still death and running out of time are recurring themes in both)
> 
> -Someday (Dear Theodosia//Reprise/)  
> one of my favourite alt titles. I thought it fit Unus and Annus not knowing when they'd meet again but hoping to reunite someday but decided against it in the end since the word "someday" doesn't actually appear in the text.
> 
> -In their eyes I see you (Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story)  
> again, sounds cool but never appears in the text. kinda goes with the seeing-emotions-in-each-others'-eyes thing I have going on tho
> 
> -No more words (original)  
> self explanatory. relates to the text but sounds odd
> 
> -It feels more like a memory (The World was Wide Enough)  
> for those who don't know Hamilton, the whole line goes "I imagine death so much it feels more like a memory" and is pretty self explanatory but didn't really tickle the title itch for me
> 
> And for the current title:  
> -One last time (One Last Time, Hamilton the Musical)  
> this was a last-minute idea and I think it is absolutely wonderful because it's both a reference and relavant to the text
> 
> now onto some feelings
> 
> honestly I'm sad UA ended, but I think (I'm pretty sure you know what I think by now, if you read the fic since it's pretty much my opinions being expressed through the mouths of Mark and Ethan's egos) that it's awesome that they were faithful to their word and actually deleted their channel instead of staying to rake in views and subs or merch money or whatever.
> 
> Unus Annus made 2020 a lot better for me to be honest and I did miss their uploads for a while because of school, but all in all their channel and content was a godsend and I don't know how I'd have made it through this year with everything intact (well, most things) without them.
> 
> though I am quite sad because I enjoy seeing Mark and Ethan in videos together because their dynamic is extremely iconic and interesting. I hope they'll do more videos together after this but for now we can only wait and see. 
> 
> Unus Annus, 
> 
> Memento Mori. 
> 
> -a frog who wishes to enrol in camp unus annus


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Ethan."
> 
> "Yes, Mark?" 
> 
> "It's over."
> 
> Ethan laughs, a shaky, teary thing that surprises even himself and rattles the air out of his lungs. "It is."

"Ethan."

"Yes, Mark?" 

"It's over."

Ethan laughs, a shaky, teary thing that surprises even himself and rattles the air out of his lungs. "It is."

"We had a year- they had a year. And now it's over, and they're gone, and I don't- I mean, I know what to do but at the same time I don't, you know?" Mark slumps halfway on the table, barely holding himself up on trembling arms. "God, Ethan, I have no fucking idea what to do."

And Ethan allows himself a sob that gets stuck in his throat and ends up as a hoarse cry, because honestly, he has no idea what to do either. 

Mark looks torn between being worried and breaking down himself. "Oh, Eth, sweetheart, blueberry-muffin-honeybun-" 

"-Honeybun?" Ethan snorts incredulously, shocked into inhaling a tear. "Wheh- where'd that come from?" 

"Oh, shut up." Mark shoves him, which would otherwise be a playful gesture if not for the sorrow pooling in his eyes. "You doing okay?" 

("Yes," Ethan tries to say, then chokes in the feeling of the lie closing off his throat.) "Um."

Something in Mark's eyes softens at that. "Oh, Ethan, sweetie." And he reaches over and wraps Ethan in a hug. 

It's warm, in a sad way, like the warmth of loving someone but knowing they'll be gone someday, or of being in the midst of a crowd of strangers. Ethan hears the soft crinkle of Mark's white suit, Annus' suit, that he'd said he wasn't going to put on again anymore. The fabric is soft against his bare arms from his rolled-up shirtsleeves, and Ethan can see his new tattoo half hidden by his sleeve if he squints hard enough. He cries harder. The zero-zero-zero burns his skin. 

He isn't aware of how many minutes pass. They don't matter, not now, because the timer has hit zero and now there's nothing left. Mark's grip doesn't loosen. 

"I wish I could give them more time, Mark," he whispers, the faint relief of a secret revealed settling in his veins like a painkiller, voice muffled by Mark's collar. "Unus Annus, Memento Mori, one year, all that- All that, and there's not enough. There's never enough."

Mark's fingers find their way into his hair, stroking, comforting. Ethan doesn't think he can be comforted. 

"We had so much planned to do, and we ended up doing so much more, but we only had one year and there's still so much we- they didn't get to do, Mark. It's not fair!"

Ethan has a vague moment of realisation that he's probably making a fool of himself by launching into a whiny ADHD-fuelled rant while he has a existential crisis, but he can't find enough coherent thought inside himself to care. His brain is still stuck in a foggy loop of sinking, sinking, away from Annus, away from the world he'd grown to love. The piece of him that's been torn away, Unus, is dead, and there's nothing he can do. It hurts and it hurts and it hurts and he just misses everything with painful, reckless abandon. 

"You're right, Un- Ethan." Mark sounds almost shaken for a second but collects himself. "It's not fair and it never will be. But we, they, had enough time to do the things they wanted to do, and that's all they wanted." 

Mark lets go, just a little, and reaches over to squeeze Ethan's hand. "It was enough for them, and it'd sure be nice to have more time, but we set a timer and made the most of what we had."

Then Mark leans back and eases off his jacket, draping it over the back of his chair along with his new hat, so it looks to Ethan like they were never moved. He scoots over on the chair and pats a spot next to him, like he does when he's trying to get Chica to sit on his lap. "C'mere, Eth."

Ethan walks over on shaky legs and sinks gingerly down onto the chair. It's a tight squeeze even with Mark squashed up on one side and Ethan squished against the other. 

"I meant what I said during the stream, Ethan. I really cannot imagine having done this with anyone else. I'm glad we're here now, even if it means letting go of a part of us."

"Mark," Hot tears blur Ethan's vision. "and Annus, even though he's not here anymore. I'm glad I spent this year with you. I don't regret any of it."

"Likewise, baby blueberry." Mark says, and pulls him in for another hug. This time the warmth bubbles up in Ethan's tummy as he's held. Ethan's not Unus, not anymore, and the old nickname makes the corners of his lips quirk up. He's home, he thinks, giddy with happiness and drunk on the thought. He's home he's home he's home. 

"Oh, wait," Ethan says, when Mark lets him go, and Mark raises a questioning eyebrow. "I think I regret being persuaded to drink my own piss. And having a balloon stuffed down my pants. And eating soap. But, y'know, I guess it would've all happened eventually, with you being my colleague and partner in crime and best friend and all. Gotta do it with you to make sure you don't accidentally die from your overblown ego, right? "

There's complete silence for a moment. 

Then Mark tips his head back and laughs, a real laugh, the kind that has him clutching his belly and taking helpless, hicupping breaths in between fits of giggles.

Ethan swears that in Mark's chuckles, he hears the fading rumble of Annus' laughter, and he thinks he can hear Unus giggling at the back of his head, whispering a soundless goodbye to his partner under a clear autumn sky as the world slips away like sand through Ethan's fingers.

He hears the sea, an unknown expanse in front of him as he peers into its faraway depths. Ethan loosens his white-knuckled grip on their hourglass, once a harsh truth but now a memory softened by the tide of time. He kneels in the warm seawater, in a realm he knows is no longer theirs, and lets go.

He lets go for one last time, tears springing to his eyes with the effort, and watches as the waves sweep the pain away. The sea is grey, neither white nor black, ebbing and flowing with a smiling sigh. 

Mixed with Mark's laughter, it sounds like a goodbye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi again kiddos! I'm back again today with the second (and last) chapter of this fic. hopefully you liked it! this chapter is more of a hurt/comfort thing that could be seen as either platonic or romantic depending on your preferences. It's not inherently either though, so feel free to speculate.
> 
> I might try to make this a series depending on whether I have new ideas. I've still got a couple titles I want to write for (they're all Hamilton lyrics. yes I am in too deep now). stay tuned!

**Author's Note:**

> hoo boiiii unus annus was a heck of a ride from start to finish, but as the mythbusters narrator says, all good things must come to an end. It's been a hell of a year, guys, and I'm honoured to have been fortunate enough to experience this with everyone in the fandom.
> 
> thanks for reading this! If you're like me and are trying to binge unus annus fics to soothe the emotional whiplash from the goodbye stream, then this might not be the best place for you to linger because I'm going to proceed to ramble about things that may or may not cause further emotional responses.
> 
> anyways here we go :)
> 
> I actually had a couple of title ideas for this (most of them are from Hamilton because the themes of UA and Hamilton sort of match up in a weird way, not entirely but still death and running out of time are recurring themes in both)
> 
> -Someday (Dear Theodosia//Reprise/)  
> one of my favourite alt titles. I thought it fit Unus and Annus not knowing when they'd meet again but hoping to reunite someday but decided against it in the end since the word "someday" doesn't actually appear in the text.
> 
> -In their eyes I see you (Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story)  
> again, sounds cool but never appears in the text. kinda goes with the seeing-emotions-in-each-others'-eyes thing I have going on tho
> 
> -No more words (original)  
> self explanatory. relates to the text but sounds odd
> 
> -It feels more like a memory (The World was Wide Enough)  
> for those who don't know Hamilton, the whole line goes "I imagine death so much it feels more like a memory" and is pretty self explanatory but didn't really tickle the title itch for me
> 
> And for the current title:  
> -One last time (One Last Time, Hamilton the Musical)  
> this was a last-minute idea and I think it is absolutely wonderful because it's both a reference and relavant to the text
> 
> now onto some feelings
> 
> honestly I'm sad UA ended, but I think (I'm pretty sure you know what I think by now, if you read the fic since it's pretty much my opinions being expressed through the mouths of Mark and Ethan's egos) that it's awesome that they were faithful to their word and actually deleted their channel instead of staying to rake in views and subs or merch money or whatever.
> 
> Unus Annus made 2020 a lot better for me to be honest and I did miss their uploads for a while because of school, but all in all their channel and content was a godsend and I don't know how I'd have made it through this year with everything intact (well, most things) without them.
> 
> though I am quite sad because I enjoy seeing Mark and Ethan in videos together because their dynamic is extremely iconic and interesting. I hope they'll do more videos together after this but for now we can only wait and see. 
> 
> Unus Annus, 
> 
> Memento Mori.


End file.
